Nell's First Date

A Headless Body Production

All Quiet on the Martian Front After Action Report: Canadian Steam Squadron vs Martian Tripods

Location: Phil's Basement
Game: All Quiet on the Martian Front
Scenario: Dump the Box!
Players: Stephen Turn, Garth Parker: Marvin's Martians
               Phil Gardocki, Bruce Potter: Canadian 2nd Armoured Squadron

The Forces: "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment*, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade.  Consisting of 5 Infantry Company's, a MG Company, command stand, a troop of Mounties,  3 Field Guns, An Anti-Tripod Gun, 6 Mk III's, 12 Mk II's, a clamp tank and Nell.  About 2,290 points

Elements of Pod का क्रोध आपका, hive एक पल का क्रोध आपका भविष्य बिगाड सकता है, a total of 11 tripods, 7 Assault, 2 Grenadier, a Slaver and a Scout, supported by 9 Drones and 9 Lobototons.  About 2190 points.  

Scenario:  I am in the finishing stages of my second wave delivery and a few pieces I bought around Fathers Day.  This greatly up scaled both sides adding four more tripods, two batteries of guns, four units of infantry, three more steam tanks and the centerpiece, a Land Ironclad, affectionately named "Nell".  For a humorous back story of Nell, click here.

We were using some of the guidelines outlined in scenario two, "Bunker."  The Humans deploy everyone on the board.  The Martians deploy on the board edge, with up to half their tripods available in reserve.


The Board:Fort Edmonton, 155 acres of recently cleared area in western Canada.
 

Deployment:

Humans have all their units on the board.  Some 18 blips have been place to represent hidden infantry units.

Having the advantage of seeing the deployment, and seeing the specs of Nell's "Big 12 inch", the Martians put half their forces in reserve and hide the rest.  The only obvious forces are the drone/lobototon horde and the Scout Tripod.

View from Nell's port hindquarter.  Of the tripods in the distance, only 3 are actually on the board.  The Spanish Inquisition is behind the coaling station.

Drone/Lobototon horde deployed, with Grenadier and Scout Tripods.  Mk II's are hidden behind the wood.

Anti-Tripod and Field Guns, with men standing by. 

This is the long view.  Clamp Tank, Anti-Tripod gun, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Field guns and 4 troops of Seam Tanks.

 ===============================================================================

Captain Palen stepped out from his tent, shaking his head at all the telegrams that had arrived overnight.

There were messages from the American Ambassador, (calling us thieves), a faux legal opinion from the British, (Damn, why can't you colonist's just get along?) and the most polite wording for "Up Yours" he had ever seen that was the response of the Canadian Ambassador.

He looked up at the cause of all the kerfuffle, there, 80 feet up, was Thomkinson.  "Thomkinson!", he called, "What are you doing?"

The sweaty man snapped to attention and threw an exaggerated salute, while the boiler room personnel, "Sooties" made a hasty retreat to the interior of the monstrosity that was Nell.  

"Sir, I am following your orders, Sir!"

"Which orders Thomkinson?"

"Returning Nell to where I found her sir!", responded the Junior Subaltern, "We are filling up the bunkers with the coal needed, Sir!"

"And do you have enough coal, Thomkinson."

"Not as such, sir."

"How much do you have, Thomkinson?"

"The Sooties think with a full bunker we can make Vegreville, or maybe Wainwright, Sir!" 

"And that would be.", Captain Palen prodded, now worried because those names were familiar to him.

"Half way to Saskatchewan, Sir."  

"How much coal will that take Thomkinson?"

"All of it, Sir."

"I see.  Thomkinson?"

"Sir!"

"Suspend that for now.  We have come to realize that it will take all the available coal in three provinces to return, "Nell" to the Yanks.

 ===============================================================================
Turn 1:
The Martians have the initiative.  Most of their Assault Tripods are off board seeking a flank march.  The Scout Tripod moves forward to use, for the first time at this table, it's illuminator.  Two Grenadiers then lay out a barrage of shock rounds onto the Land Ironclad, Nell.  Just to see the effectiveness.  Nell was unharmed, but the hidden movement counter under her was revealed to be a phoney.  The Assault Tripods also managed to destroy one of the Field Guns.  The Martians did their best to then pull back behind the cover of the

Then it was the humans turn.  The Martians had only managed to destroy a Field Gun, but then ducked for cover, almost.

Nell surged forward, moving full speed, a full 4 inches.  The big 12 inch "Super heavy" gun found a target and squeezed off a round.  Boom, the first shot exploded a tripod.  A most splendid portent for the new model.

The view from the Nell's starboard bow.

Replacing a tripod with a smoke marker.

I have to admit it, Garth took this one well.

The remaining shots missed their targets.  On to bound 2!

Turn 2:

The Martian drone/lobototon horde moved forward.  The disquieting jerkyness of the no-longer- human lobototons offering a quiet contrast against the smooth gliding motion of the drones.

The Grenadier Tripods fire again, assisted by the illumination of the Scout Tripod, and take out two elements of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and another Field Gun.  Both units however passed their morale checks and stayed on the board.

The remains of the RCMP hug a wall.  The surprise is the Anti-Tripod gun, far right, has a shorter range than the field gun, forward above.

The last Field gun destroys the Scout Tripod, blinding the Grenadier Tripods.

The 12" gun misses, but the 7" gun doesn't.  Scratch the Slaver Tripod, and with it, the entire Drone and Lobototon horde.

Turn 3:
So far the humans have had this all their way.  3 tripods destroyed, and major forces defanged.  It is making me question the value of the Land Ironclad, that at 750 points, compared to 200 for an Assault Tripod, it is too cheap.

The Martians maintain the initiative, and bring on a replacement Scout Tripod.  That should keep the Grenadiers in action.  They use their shock rounds on a unit of Mk II Steam Tanks, destroying two and causing the third to flee.

The Larch.

Two Mk II's gone, the third is leaving.

One of the flanking Assault Tripods is brought on early.

Turn 3:
The Humans gain the initiative, but have no targets to shoot at.  The Martians manage to get a cheap shot on a unit of Mk III Steam Tanks.  Destroying one, and the others of his troop flee to near the board edge.

Largely uninvolved till now, the remaining tanks get a taste of the heat ray.

Nell continues to move forward, but the Martians cannot be seen.

The only target is the Guinness Stout.

Turn 4:
The humans keep the initiative, but have no targets.  The tanks start to charge across the board.  The Martians peek out, shoot, then scoot, picking off a tank or two.

The Steam Tanks of the 2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment charge across the board.

Steadily advancing, Nell reaches the Mill Creek.  Be vaweee, vaweee, quiet, wee are hunting Machens.

Turn 5:
The Humans keep the initiative.  But once again are frustrated by a lack of targets.  The Tripods sense an opportunity, and leap out within sweep range, and flash their heat rays over and over the 2nd Squadron.

Nell creates a impromptu dam while crossing Mill Creek.

The plucky Clamp Tank takes the bridge.  The thought is I'll grab one of the tripods and hold it still.

Turn 6:
The Martians gain the initiative, effectively giving them a double turn.  They leap out again, and sweep the tanks of 2nd Squadron, destroying most of them.  With that, more than half of 2nd Squadron knocked out of action, the Martians are declared a winner!

In just two turns, the proud Canadian tank force is turned to rubble.

With only the Buzzards remain to morn their passing.

This fight was quite a turnaround from the beginning, so we'll give the Martian players another victory photo.

*Canada and England have different titles for their units than the Americans.  A Canadian Brigade is the equivalent of an American Regiment.   The Canadian Regiment is the equivalent of an American Battalion.  The Canadian Squadron is the equivalent of an American Company.   The Canadian Troop is the equivalent of an American Platoon.  One element could be a Section.

Nell

A Headless Body Production

All Quiet on the Martian Front Introduction: Nell

 
Game: All Quiet on the Martian Front
Writer: Phil Gardocki

The Forces: "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron*, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment*, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade* is about to get a new arrival.


Scenario:  Background information on Canada's latest weapon against the Martian invaders.

The Board:Canadian Base Edmonton.

Captain Palen was enjoying his tea and pondering how Camp Edmonton's 122 acres would make a wonderful shopping area some day.  In the background sounds of the RCMP's rendition of the Lumberjack Song started up.  "Bloody hell", he thought, "How much effort would it take to learn a second tune."

He put the tea cup back on it's saucer, and noted the strange, rhythmic, concentric rings forming on the surface. 

He turned in his chair in time to see a pair of Larch trees separate, then crash to the ground, a before him was a monstrosity!  A full 80 feet tall with two luminous eyes  glowed, it ground slowly towards the tea set.  Then it stopped, a massive steam whistle let out a cry that would be heard for miles.

Captain Palen finished his tea, wiped the biscuit crumbs from his fingers, placed his hat upon his head then stood up.  

Nell, starboard forequarter.

Hands on his hips, he confronted the monster, looking upward, he squinted into the distance, "Thomkinson, is that you?" he shouted.

A small figure in the distance leaned over a rail down at Captain Palen, "Yes sir."

"What is that thing you are riding on?"  

"It's a model of a Land Ironclad, sir."

"A model?" queried Captain Palen, "What scale model?"

"One to one, sir!" came the answer.

Exasperated, Captain Palen stated, "Thomkinson,  if it is one to one scale, then it is no longer a model, but a real ironclad."

Thomkinson looked confused, but affirmed, "Yes Sir."

"Get rid of it."

"Sir?"

"Get rid of it, we can't have that noisy thing announcing our presence to Martians."

"But sir, it weighs 8,000 tonnes!"

"I don't care, it is silly, so return it where you found it."

"Detroit?  Sir, that's 1,921 miles from here."

"I don't care, and remember you have potato peeling duty later."

There was "thwonk" followed by a collapsing Private Concorde, "Message for you sir".

Captain Palen retrieved the arrow buried into Private Concorde's chest, and unrolled the message around it.  It read, "To whoever finds this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle."

He looked around and then pointed the arrow to one of his men, "Private Lancelot!  How many times must I tell you not to use official communications equipment to receive your cries of distress, we are running out of Private Concordes!"

"I'm getting better sir", squeaked Private Concord.

Private Lancelot stepped forward, and exchanged the roll of paper with one from his hand.  "Sorry sir, I must have gotten your message by mistake."

Captain Palen unrolled the second message and read the message.

"Thomkinson?"

"Yes Sir!"

"You didn't just happen to find this thing now, did you?"

"Yes I did sir, it was under a rock sir, and I thought what a useful thing to have with the 12 inch main gun, all those 5 inch guns, and the bunkers just full of coal."

"Is this?" Captain Palen looked down at the message, "The Spirit of Detroit?" He then looked up again, "Reported missing by the Yanks 6 days ago?"

"No sir, this is Nell, and I found her!"

Captain Palen took a slow stroll around the giant machine, giving it his best inspection attitude normally due a preinspection check by the General.  "I see, so you named it Nell, right after you crossed out The Spirit of Detroit, painted here on the, ah, stern?"


"Well..."

"Now, now Thomkinson, fess up", consoled Captain Palen.

"You got me sir.  But it was just sitting there, all shiny and new and fully loaded  and me and  three score of the boys thought this thing hasn't been tested and wouldn't it be neighborly of us to make sure everything works before giving it back."

Sergeant Idle spoke up, "Sir, it seems to me that if the Martians are so busy shooting at Nell that the rest of us might not get hurt at all."

Captain Palen seemed to ponder that point. 

At that point the Colonel showed up.

"Alright now,  we all can see that this is getting silly.  After all, this is just a cheap writeup to show off our newly painted toy (which was purchased at 30% discount) using some Monty Python dialog taken out of context, to justify how the Canadian Army would have managed to acquire one of the preeminent war machines on the planet, while demonstrating that the writer is still king of the 'run on sentence', and I'll have none of it!"

*Canada and England have different titles for their units than the Americans.  A Canadian Brigade is the equivalent of an American Regiment.   The Canadian Regiment is the equivalent of an American Battalion.  The Canadian Squadron is the equivalent of an American Company.   The Canadian Troop is the equivalent of an American Platoon.  One element could be a Section.

Nell, receiving coal from a nearby coal tower.  Three Mk II's are standing by.

The Bounders have arrived.

Saving Captain Lawrence

A Headless Body Production

All Quiet on the Martian Front After Action Report: Canadian Steam Squadron vs. Martian Tripods

Location: Sloan Clubhouse, Phoenixville, PA
Game: All Quiet on the Martian Front
Scenario: Variation of scenario #6, Rescue
Players: Garth Parker: Marvin's Martians
               Bruce Potter: Canadian Armoured Squadron

The Forces: "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron*, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment*, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade*.  Consisting of an Infantry Company, a MG Company, a troop of Mounties, 3 Mk III's, and 12 Mk II's.  

Elements of Pod का क्रोध आपका, hive एक पल का क्रोध आपका भविष्य बिगाड सकता है, a total of 7 Tripods, 4 with heavy heat rays, 1 medium heat ray, one with green mist grenades and one with a black smoke projector.  


Scenario:  Canadian: The British war hero, Captain T. E. Lawrence, also known as Tł'é'na'áí to the Apache, was reassigned to Canada to train the Inuit’s in the same tactics of the Apache.  But his plane was seen to crash in the Canadian Taiga, and flares launched from that area imply he has survived, but have attracted the attention of both rescuers and the enemy.

Martian: Investigate the flying machine.  One of the human flying machines has flown near the newly established hive, ध आपका, and later seen to crash.  A war pod has been sent out to investigate the flying machine to see how far the human technology has advanced.  

Victory Conditions:
Humans: Major victory if Captain Lawrence survives.
               Minor victory if Martians are forced to withdraw.


Martians: Major victory if they defeat the humans and possess the airplane.
                Moderate victory if they just possess the airplane, and capture its crewmen.
                Minor victory if they just possess the airplane, or capture its crewmen.

The Board:North of Edmonton, deep in the Taiga. 

Deployment:
Both sides start with all forces off board and roll randomly for arrival areas.

The Taiga near Edmonton, Canada.  In addition to the obvious terrain present, the board is to be considered entirely brush and low cover strewn.  Providing additional cover to human infantry, but not vehicles.  The center piece of White Birch trees has the crashed biplane in it's midst. 

Turn 1:    
 ==================================================
 Captain Palin started the briefing, "Men, I'll be brief.  That great British war hero, and star of the American cinema, Captain Lawrence, has been lost."
Sounds of shock and awe rose from the crowd, punctuated by "That Pommy!"  
 "We believe he is alive and I have sent Dennis Moore ("That Commie!) and his Royal Canadian Mounted Police to scout the area.  After all, they always get their man!"
Knowing titters from the crowd.
"So when they signal with their flares they have found something we will ride out and rescue him."
"Won't the Martians see the flares too," asked sub private Baldrick?
"Yes, that is why we are sending out the tanks, and not just the local police, this is no walk in the woods", replied Captain Palin.
"Actually, this is the Canadian Taiga, and it is kind of what they had in mind when they invented the word, woods", chipped in Sergeant Idle.
================================================== 


The Scenario rules stipulate that the Martians have the initiative on turn one, and move first.

The Martian's hive Reconnaissance Tripod and an Black Dust Projecting Assault Tripod arrive first on the scene of the crash.  On their second move, the Recon Tripod is already at the crash site.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police also arrive on the scene, hidden by the dense trees.  Also present is a squad of infantry, which cannot be seen.

  Turn 2:

Both sides have forces on the board, but neither have been spotted as of yet.  But that is about to change.  The humans gain the initiative.  Two additional troops arrive on the board while the Royal Canadian Mounted Police race forward with their TOW cables and double entangle the Recon Tripod!  The infantry troop still cannot be seen.

Steam Tank Troops 'A' and 'B' arrive,and are well concealed behind cover.  A good match for two tripods.

Tally Ho!  The RCMP assault and successfully put two immobilize tokens on the Recon Tripod.

Captain Lawrence hears the noise of the two stroke engines and races out from cover where he has been hiding.
He hops on the back of one of the motorcycles and they race off!  Mission accomplished!  I have run this scenario 4 times, and never has Captain Lawrence been picked up so soon.

Martian reserves arrive and attempt to cut off the RCMP.  The Recon Tripod is using his reaper cables to recover the Biplane.
 One tripod releases his black smoke, suffocating two sections.  The newly arrived tripods raise their heat rays,
and send the last section and Captain Lawrence to oblivion.

The Larch

Turn 3:
The Martians have the initiative, and bring on their 3 remaining tripods. Due to concealment and range, none of the tripods can bring their weapons to bear.

Four of the fighting machines cluster around the biplane, and cover the gaps in the trees.

Two troops of steam tanks pull out from behind their cover and shoot.  With the Mk III's 3 gun configuration that's 12 dice,  scoring 2 hits, with damage rolls of 7 (Fire control) and an 8(roll D10 for damage).

Turn 4:
The Martians keep the initiative and move forward taking shots at whatever is peeking out from the woods.  The Recon Tripod has recovered the biplane, but is unwilling to shake off the tow cables wrapped around it.

The Humans bring on their Machine Gun platoon, but it cannot be seen.

The tripods decide to fight for the center.  Their remaining

Two tripods may be damaged, but this is an daunting formation to face.

Lieutenant Cleese riding "Sybil", Sergeant Manuel on "Harsh Language", and the unaccredited extra bravely face the peril.

2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment is in full cry!  "Bows and arrows against the lightning," commented one of the Machine gunners, which still could not be seen.

The shell burst clean in the face of the Thing. The hood bulged, flashed, was whirled off in a dozen tattered fragments of red flesh and glittering metal.

Turn 5:
The Martians keep the initiative.  The humans have bloodied them and have only lost one tank in return.

Shots traded, but little effect.  Two assault tripods have fire control problems, one has mobility control problems, and the recon tripod is immobilized.

At this time the narrator and photographer had to run an errand to pick up his son, hard at work in the local salt mines.  To simulate this you can leave this page and surf the web for a while then come back in about 30-35 minutes.  We will then skip forward to turn 7.

Turn 6

The Martian player is thrashing the woods looking for the cameraman of the biplane as that is one of their scenario's victory conditions.  And they find him! Securing a moderate victory.   The humans score no hits at all.

Turn 7

The Martians keep the initiative.  The heat rays are brought to bear in broad sweeps, destroying men and machines.  When it was over, Troops 'A' (the Mk III's) and 'B' (Mk II's) had been eradicated. 

Turn 7 (second half)

==================================================

"Sergeant Chapman, what are you doing?" shouted Captain Palin.

Sergeant Chapman stopped, and puffing mightily, threw a proper salute, "Sir, I just had an interesting conversation with the man from scene 24, Sir!"

"And what did he say, as I recall, he was a strange fellow."

Sergeant Chapman's eyes rolled upward, as if recalling the scene in his mind, "Stop!  Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see."  Then, looking pleased with himself, he stood at half attention.

Confused, Captain Palin asked, "What does that mean Sergeant?"
"I don't know sir, I would have asked but I was afraid he would throw me into the Gorge of Eternal Peril."
Captain Palin shook his head, "Sergeant, just get into Patsey, the intermission is over."
"YES SIR, MOUNTING PATSEY NOW SIR!" shouted Sergeant Palin repeated the order with necessary loudness.  He then jumped to the nearby steam tank and hopped inside.
=====================================================

The Martian approached the bridge.  He was met by the man from scene 24.  "Stop!  Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see." stated the bridge keeper.  He then asked, "What is your favorite color?"  The tripod raised its heat ray and ululated "UUUULLLLAAAAAAA", then looked puzzled, and blew up.

The bottom half of turn 7 was bad for the Martians as well.  Another movement control hit.  Two tripods are down, and only two are fully functioning. 

The Machine gunners reveal themselves, to good effect, taking full credit for destroying a tripod, and damaging others.

The infantry squad, now revealed, makes a futile attempt to assault the tripod with grenades.

Only 5 steamers remains as the sun begins to set.

Turn 8:
The game ends on turn 8.  The Martians have the initiative again.

The infantry get dusted with black dust.  They lose two sections, but pass their morale check.

Marvin sweeps Troop 'B', killing two tanks, but they also stay on the board. 

In a last great act of defiance, the humans focus all their attention on Marvin.  Three 4 inch cannons, and 9 machine gun rolls bounce of his armored hide.  They all missed and as the sun sets, we have a Martian victory.


*Canada and England have different titles for their units than the Americans.  A Canadian Brigade is the equivalent of an American Regiment.   The Canadian Regiment is the equivalent of an American Battalion.  The Canadian Squadron is the equivalent of an American Company.   The Canadian Troop is the equivalent of an American Platoon.  One element could be a Section.

The Larch