The Red Martian

A Headless Body Production

All Quiet on the Martian Front: The Story Behind the Red Martian.

The subject of many campfire stories intended to scare new recruits, and, in fact, judged by most senior command as a myth, the Red Martians do actually exist. How or why the Martians with their cold, purely logical, seeming to lack any sign of emotions, modified this Tripod in this way is unknown.  But unlike the Yanks to the south, which has made another horror story out of this peculiarity with disconnected facts, we Canadians have a more reasonable explanation.  

We believe this Martian had a mechanical failure, either through an accident in the rough wilderness, or by some manufacturing error, we can’t say.  But this tripods system had a major failure, leaving the Martian to fend for itself in the Taiga for many days before it was found and rescued by its compatriots.  While in the woods, it would have to feed on the food available, the animal life would have easily fled its presence, leaving only the local flora, quite of few of which have hallucinogenic properties.  

One can only imagine the torment suffered by this beast by interacting with large talking anthropomorphic rabbits, ducks and other animals of the wilderness.  It is amusing to think so.

That the Red Martian is a tormented member of the northern Martians is almost certain.  When seen, it is often heard to be making noises to itself, shooting its heat ray at non military targets, and on rare occasions, striking one, and then doing some sort of celebratory dance.

Marvin and K-9 by the Tree of Woe.